Man vs. Bird

For about a year we have had a saying in our house, “those damn birds!” Here’s why: three pigeons have decided to make our front stoop a permanent home for themselves. While some people might find that cute it was anything but for us. Every time someone would walk into our house they would swoop down in attack mode making a scream a somewhat normal occurrence when entering our home. Not to mention the birds tend to drop all their “business” on the porch on a regular basis.Thinking there has to be an easy, non-harmful way to get rid of them my husband lined the stoop area with metal spikes. Pretty proud of himself he announced, “That should do it.” In this case he was wrong! Not only were they back but they built a nest on top of the spikes.

This weekend he decided enough is enough. Man vs. Birds was on! He got a ladder and a broom and got up there only to see an almost full-grown baby staring at him. He tried to shoo it away when than didn’t work he got the hose, and after that he just had a wet bird staring at him. It’s times like this when I wish I would of pulled out the video camera.

Some time had passed and he was able to get the bird down onto our porch! Within minutes we noticed one small problem. It couldn’t fly yet! Well, I didn’t want to leave it there but he wasn’t going to touch it and frankly I had my fill of feathered friends with our chickens as a child. Solutions you ask? My best friend! She has a farm and deals with weird animal nonsense on a daily basis. I call her and she shows up in shorts, her big rubber work boots, gloves, and 5-gallon bucket. In the meantime one of my husbands friends shows up to see what is going on. What happened next almost had me peeing my pants from laughing out on the front lawn. (I can only imagine what the rest of the neighbors were thinking) Here are two grown men standing as far back as they could as my little farmer girl is running around our lawn trying to catch this bird with her hands! After a minute she finally grabs it, puts it in her bucket, puts it in her trunk, and drives off! The bird is gone, no thanks to the two grown men running from it. That’s my girl!

What happened to the bird you ask? Well, my friend doesn’t exactly run a normal farm. She has a super big heart and has been known to bring animals in her house, in the winter go out and lay on them for warmth, she even put a cow in the back of her mini van when it was sick and drove it to the vet. So I was not all surprised that she said put the bird in one of her empty bunny cages, and is going to take care of it until it learns to fly. So today in the case of Man vs. Bird, Women won!