This week befalls another first upon our family. Our
daughter has been attending summer camp for the pre-school age group from
9:00am to 2:00pm every day this week. Why is this so extraordinary you ask?
Well, for one thing this little rug-rat has been attached to me like Velcro since
the minute she was born. It’s very easy to do since I am a stay at home mom and Chloe
is rarely out of my sight. To put it simply my daughter has never been in a
structured socialized environment so to us this is a very big deal. I don’t think I went to pre-school and
my husband was so painfully shy as child it was difficult for him to talk to
other kids. (Funny how that changed)
As I drop her off on her first day I am so nervous but
winning an academy award for “it’s no big deal. We do this every day kind–of-calm air about me.” I am breezy, and smiling big smiles trying very hard not to cry as we enter the building with the littlest hand tucked in mine. We see a madhouse of crazy a
mist both of us as she looks up at me with a giant smile and without hesitation she lets go. That was it.
She took off running up to a group of kids, and was as happy as she could be. I sat back watching for a minute or two in awe of my daughter’s bravery.
She had no fear, no shyness, and she was just who she was for the whole world
to see. There was something so sweet to her naive innocence. I started to feel like my academy award might be in jeopardy as I
started to tear up so I quickly went to grab my sweet little girl, kiss her,
and tell her I would be back for her soon. She kissed me, and smiled big as she
ran back to the group of kids she had found to play with. I got to my car with
such a heavy heart. She is 3 ½ and she doesn’t need me anymore I was thinking. I have two options right now; I could
sit here and have a pity party for one or just put the car in drive and
go. I hesitate but eventually start the car. 
Once I get home and I notice I have this nervous energy about me. What do
I do? I mean I have no child, no job? What do people do? So I cleaned the
house, did laundry, dishes, washed the dogs, and worked out all before 11:00am.
Now what? I mean I worked for IBM for 16 years until I had Chloe. Then she
became my full time job. Now there is one morning without her, and I am contemplating
going back to IBM. Now that’s just craziness madness talking right there. I
decide I shouldn't do anything rash, as this is just one week of summer camp.
It’s a practice run to see how pre-school is going to go. I can save my
irrational, over dramatic, flipping out for then.
Now it comes time to pick her up and I almost feel relived not
to have so much time on my hands to focus on unnecessary things. As Chloe see’s
me round the corner a big smile comes across her face and she takes off in a dead run
for me. As she gets to me she leaps in my arms wrapping her self around me
hugging me tighter than she ever has before. She said,” I am so glad you came back to
get me.” I laugh as I kissed her and said, “Of course I told you I would.”
As we walk back to the car she is holding my hand, skipping,
and all the while telling me about her day. As I get her strapped into her seat she says,” I am so happy.
Thank you mommy.”
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